Focus on WHAT Your Buyer’s Offer Is, Not WHO They Are When Selling Your House (Unless You Want a Lawsuit)

The Lighter Side of Real Estate • June 9, 2023

There can be some emotional attachment when people sell a house, since it was usually the person’s home. So it’s understandable that a homeowner might want to know that the buyer is someone who’s going to love and appreciate their home moving forward, which is why many buyers have written so-called “love letters” to go along with their offers over the years.

The “love letters” aren’t just objective data and facts; they’re a peek into who the potential buyer really is and are written in hopes of swaying the seller to accept their offer by tugging at their heart strings. Sometimes it’s to give them an edge when there are other offers to consider, or it could be to convince the owners to take an offer they’d otherwise balk at due to a less than desirable price, contingencies, or terms.

But those letters have come under scrutiny in the past few years. Oregon went as far as banning them in 2021, because they were trying to prevent discrimination which can occur when a seller considers who the buyer is, rather than just the price and terms being offered. A federal court ended up ruling the ban to be a violation of First Amendment rights, so they’re legal again, but it’s a good reminder to think about how easy it can be for someone to cross the fine line into discrimination.

You might be the most accepting, unbiased person in the world, but there’s always that chance that the human tendency to identify with someone could sway your judgment. And sadly, there are still home sellers out there who would deliberately choose to discriminate against someone who wants to buy their house because they’re different from them — even if it’s the best offer.

But discriminating against a buyer because of who they are isn’t just morally wrong, it’s illegal.

What Can’t You Discriminate Against?

To keep it as simple as possible, the only things you should be considering about a buyer are the price and terms they’re offering. Are they acceptable to you or not? If you have multiple offers to consider, are they the best price and terms out of all of the other offers? That’s the simplest way to avoid even the possibility of discriminating against a buyer.

But it’s not always possible to be completely unaware of who the buyer is. For instance, sometimes you meet them or see them when they come to look at your house. Or they submit a letter with personal details, as mentioned above.

In case you do get to know who your potential buyer is, you should know that The Fair Housing Act makes it illegal for you to discriminate against anyone based upon their:

  • Race
  • Color
  • Religion
  • Sex (including gender identity and sexual orientation)
  • Disability
  • Familial status
  • National origin

Those are the protected classes on the federal level, but many states have even broader laws.

Discrimination Isn’t Just Wrong, It Can Cost You…

Making a discriminatory decision isn’t just wrong to do, it can have legal and financial consequences.

If you’re found to have violated the Fair Housing Act by the US Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD), among other things, you can be ordered to:

  • Compensate the victim for actual damages, out-of-pocket expenses, and emotional distress damages.
  • Pay their attorney’s fees.
  • Pay a fine of between $16,000 and $65,000, depending on the number and frequency of your violations.

In addition to HUD, the person you discriminated against can bring a civil suit against you to pursue further damages and costs.

Your Real Estate Agent Can Help You Stay Out of Trouble

Every real estate agent should be very much aware of the Fair Housing Act and make sure you don’t violate it. But if you hire an agent who’s willing to help you ignore it or violate it, you’re asking for trouble.

While all agents have their own way of doing things, if you want to avoid any hint of discrimination, you might ask your agent to only divulge the objective facts about the offers you receive.

The Takeaway:

Discriminating against a buyer because of who they are isn’t just wrong, it’s illegal when selling your house. The Fair Housing Act makes it against the law to let anyone’s race, color, religion, sex, disability, familial status, or national origin impact whether or not you accept their offer.
To avoid any hint of discrimination, focus on what the buyer’s offer is — the price, terms and contingencies — and not who they are.


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By KCM March 22, 2026
The #1 Reason Buyers Walk Away (And How To Get Ahead of It) You may have seen headlines on social saying the number of buyers backing out of their contracts is on the rise – and has recently reached a high not seen since 2017. That can sound intimidating. But it varies a lot by market. And here’s the key thing to understand if you want to sell . A lot of the time, there’s one common cause. And it’s something you can actually control. Here’s what you can do to get ahead of the biggest dealbreaker before it ever becomes a problem. The Top Dealbreaker: Issues That Pop Up During the Inspection A Redfin survey shows over 70% of recently cancelled contracts happened because of issues during the home inspection (see graph below): And that makes sense. Because today’s buyers have something they didn’t have a couple of years ago: options . Why Fixing Things Before You List Matters More Today A few years back, when buyers felt rushed or boxed in due to the limited number of homes for sale, they were more willing to overlook issues. But in today’s market, skipping essential repairs is one of the fastest ways to lose a deal. Now that there are more homes to choose from, buyers can be more selective. If a house feels risky, outdated, or like it’s hiding expensive surprises, they’re a lot more likely to walk away. So, what do you have to fix? Just ask an agent. How Your Agent Can Help Give You the Edge A local agent will be able to walk through your house and offer advice on what to tackle based on your specific home, your market, and what buyers are prioritizing in your area. They'll also have first-hand knowledge about some of the biggest turnoffs for buyers today. And you can use that expertise to prevent future headaches. For example, according to Zillow, these are some of the issues buyers will care the most about: Roof leaks or damage: sagging, leaking, etc. Plumbing problems: standing water, leaks, water damage, etc. Electrical concerns: outdated or exposed wiring, missing GFCI outlets, etc. HVAC issues: non-functioning units Pest or insect damage : termite colonies, etc. Hazardous materials: lead, mold, asbestos, etc. Safety/code violations : missing smoke detectors, windows stuck closed, etc. Structural problems : cracks in the foundation, sagging floors, etc. Odds are not all of this even applies to your house. Maybe only 1-2 things do. Or maybe none of them do. It just depends. But an agent will have the tools and resources to help you figure it out and stay one step ahead. The Benefits of a Pre-Listing Inspection To buyers, these aren’t cosmetic issues. They’re trust issues. And that’s what you need to watch out for today. Once buyers start wondering “what else might be wrong,” it’s hard to recover momentum. That’s why some agents are even recommending a pre-listing inspection as a sneak peek into what buyers will see on their own inspection. With that insight, you can: Fix concerns before you list, or disclose issues upfront Avoid having to respond or negotiate under pressure Stop scrambling to find contractors with availability before your closing date But remember, you don't have to fix everything . You just have to be strategic about what you do tackle, so you and your buyer aren’t caught off guard. And that’s why you need an agent who can: Decide if a pre-listing inspection is worth it where you live Recommend a trusted inspector (if you decide to get one) Look at the results with you to identify true dealbreakers in your market Help you decide what to fix or what to credit Make sure you avoid over-spending or under-preparing Bottom Line One of the biggest dealbreakers for buyers today is inspection issues – and that’s something you can control. You just need to be proactive about high-impact repairs before you list. If you want help figuring out where to focus, let's connect so we can keep your sale on track from day one.
By KCM March 21, 2026
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By KCM March 19, 2026
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