Focus on WHAT Your Buyer’s Offer Is, Not WHO They Are When Selling Your House (Unless You Want a Lawsuit)

The Lighter Side of Real Estate • June 9, 2023

There can be some emotional attachment when people sell a house, since it was usually the person’s home. So it’s understandable that a homeowner might want to know that the buyer is someone who’s going to love and appreciate their home moving forward, which is why many buyers have written so-called “love letters” to go along with their offers over the years.

The “love letters” aren’t just objective data and facts; they’re a peek into who the potential buyer really is and are written in hopes of swaying the seller to accept their offer by tugging at their heart strings. Sometimes it’s to give them an edge when there are other offers to consider, or it could be to convince the owners to take an offer they’d otherwise balk at due to a less than desirable price, contingencies, or terms.

But those letters have come under scrutiny in the past few years. Oregon went as far as banning them in 2021, because they were trying to prevent discrimination which can occur when a seller considers who the buyer is, rather than just the price and terms being offered. A federal court ended up ruling the ban to be a violation of First Amendment rights, so they’re legal again, but it’s a good reminder to think about how easy it can be for someone to cross the fine line into discrimination.

You might be the most accepting, unbiased person in the world, but there’s always that chance that the human tendency to identify with someone could sway your judgment. And sadly, there are still home sellers out there who would deliberately choose to discriminate against someone who wants to buy their house because they’re different from them — even if it’s the best offer.

But discriminating against a buyer because of who they are isn’t just morally wrong, it’s illegal.

What Can’t You Discriminate Against?

To keep it as simple as possible, the only things you should be considering about a buyer are the price and terms they’re offering. Are they acceptable to you or not? If you have multiple offers to consider, are they the best price and terms out of all of the other offers? That’s the simplest way to avoid even the possibility of discriminating against a buyer.

But it’s not always possible to be completely unaware of who the buyer is. For instance, sometimes you meet them or see them when they come to look at your house. Or they submit a letter with personal details, as mentioned above.

In case you do get to know who your potential buyer is, you should know that The Fair Housing Act makes it illegal for you to discriminate against anyone based upon their:

  • Race
  • Color
  • Religion
  • Sex (including gender identity and sexual orientation)
  • Disability
  • Familial status
  • National origin

Those are the protected classes on the federal level, but many states have even broader laws.

Discrimination Isn’t Just Wrong, It Can Cost You…

Making a discriminatory decision isn’t just wrong to do, it can have legal and financial consequences.

If you’re found to have violated the Fair Housing Act by the US Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD), among other things, you can be ordered to:

  • Compensate the victim for actual damages, out-of-pocket expenses, and emotional distress damages.
  • Pay their attorney’s fees.
  • Pay a fine of between $16,000 and $65,000, depending on the number and frequency of your violations.

In addition to HUD, the person you discriminated against can bring a civil suit against you to pursue further damages and costs.

Your Real Estate Agent Can Help You Stay Out of Trouble

Every real estate agent should be very much aware of the Fair Housing Act and make sure you don’t violate it. But if you hire an agent who’s willing to help you ignore it or violate it, you’re asking for trouble.

While all agents have their own way of doing things, if you want to avoid any hint of discrimination, you might ask your agent to only divulge the objective facts about the offers you receive.

The Takeaway:

Discriminating against a buyer because of who they are isn’t just wrong, it’s illegal when selling your house. The Fair Housing Act makes it against the law to let anyone’s race, color, religion, sex, disability, familial status, or national origin impact whether or not you accept their offer.
To avoid any hint of discrimination, focus on what the buyer’s offer is — the price, terms and contingencies — and not who they are.


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If You Think You Need a 20% Down Payment to Buy a Home, You Might Be Ready to Buy Sooner Than You Think

By The Lighter Side of Real Estate • June 3, 2026
Imagine you had to become a real estate agent tomorrow and help someone buy a house from start to finish. Think you’d know everything you need to know? Even if you feel pretty confident, there’s a good chance you’d run into a bit of a learning curve. There are a lot of moving parts in a real estate transaction, and most of what people know about the process tends to come from bits and pieces they pick up along the way. So it’s not all that surprising that, according to a recent survey from HousingWire , about 85% of homeowners said they wished they knew more before buying. Most of them probably did some homework and learned a lot as they went. But looking back, they realized there were things they would’ve liked to understand ahead of time. One of the biggest takeaways from the survey is that 13% of respondents believed they needed a 20% down payment to buy a home. That’s kind of surprising when you consider how often this topic comes up. It’s something agents talk about all the time, post about on social media, mention in conversations… to the point where it starts to feel like common knowledge. But clearly, it’s not something every home buyer (or potential home buyer) knows. So if you take nothing else away from this article, just know that you likely do not need 20% down to buy a house. Why Do People Still Think They Need to Put 20% Down? Years ago, putting 20% down was almost always required. Lending guidelines were tighter, loan options weren’t as flexible, and in many cases, that was just what buyers were expected to bring to the table. Over time, loan programs evolved, new options became available, and buyers started purchasing homes with far less money down than they used to. But somehow the idea that you need a 20% down payment never entirely went away. Part of that is likely because it’s still the benchmark for avoiding private mortgage insurance (PMI), which can lower your monthly payment. So it can come across as somewhat of an ideal thing to do. In reality, though, most buyers are putting down quite a bit less. In fact, the survey found that 72.6% of respondents put down 10% or less when they purchased their home. That Belief Could Be the Only Thing Stopping You From Buying a Home Based on those numbers, it’s pretty clear that a lot of buyers do figure out at some point that they don’t actually need 20% down. They get into the process, start asking questions, talk to the right people, and somewhere along the way, that misconception gets cleared up. But what if you never get that far? While plenty of buyers eventually learn they don’t need as much for a down payment as they first believed, there are likely a lot of potential homeowners sitting there thinking they need to hit that 20% mark before they can even start the conversation. Maybe you’re actively saving and assuming it’s going to take years. Or maybe you’ve just written it off altogether and figure it’s not even worth exploring yet. And if that’s the case, that belief alone could be the thing holding you back from finding out what’s actually possible. The reality is, what you qualify for depends on a lot of variables—income, credit, loan programs, and more—but the only way to really know is to explore it. That’s where talking to a real estate agent can make a big difference. They can help guide you, connect you with the right professionals, and walk you through not just down payment options, but the entire process. Don’t feel like you need to wait until you’re “ready” or have a full down payment saved before reaching out. The earlier you start the conversation, the better. Even if buying a home is just something you hope to do someday… that day may be sooner than you think. The Takeaway: A recent survey found that most homeowners wish they had known more before buying. One of the biggest misconceptions was about down payments. A surprising number of people still believe they need 20% down, even though most buyers are actually putting down far less. While plenty of buyers eventually learn they don’t need as much for a down payment as they first believed, there are likely a lot of potential homeowners sitting there thinking they need to hit that 20% mark before they can even start the conversation. If that sounds familiar, it may be worth reaching out to an agent and starting the conversation sooner than you think. You don’t need to have a down payment fully saved before reaching out—and you might even find that buying a home is more within reach than it seems.

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Is Homeownership Really Out of Reach for All First-Time Buyers… or Does It Just Feel That Way?

By The Lighter Side of Real Estate • May 31, 2026
If you’ve been wishing you could buy your first house, there’s a good chance the headlines are making you feel like it’s probably close to impossible. And to be fair, it’s not easy for a lot of first-time buyers who don’t have the advantage of equity from a previous home. Prices have gone up. Rates aren’t what they used to be. And rent hasn’t exactly been giving anyone a break either, which can make saving for a down payment feel like an uphill battle. It’s also pretty rare to hear anything that pushes back on that perspective. The overwhelming message is that housing is unaffordable, that first-time buyers are getting squeezed out, and that something needs to change to make it more accessible. So even if you’re doing pretty well financially, it’s not surprising if it still feels like buying a home is out of reach. It’s easy to assume you’re not in a position to buy simply because it feels like no one is. But it might not be a bad idea to test that assumption. Why It Might Feel Like You’re Further Behind Than You Are A recent article on Realtor.com touched on something called money dysmorphia. It’s a pretty simple idea. It’s when your perception of your financial situation doesn’t quite line up with reality. In other words, you might be doing better than you think, but it doesn’t feel that way. And that feeling can be influenced by a lot of things: What you see your peers posting on social media. What you hear from friends or coworkers. Or perhaps the constant stream of headlines talking about how expensive homes are. It can create this sense that everyone else is either way ahead of you… or that nobody can afford anything at all. On one hand, it can make you feel like you’re falling behind compared to what you see others doing. On the other hand, it can reinforce the idea that buying a home just isn’t realistic right now… even if your situation might suggest otherwise. Most people probably aren’t even aware that’s happening to them, so they don’t really question it. But now that you are, here are a few questions you might want to start asking yourself. Is it possible I’m actually in a position to buy a home? It might sound like a simple question, but it’s one a lot of people never seriously ask. If you’ve already assumed the answer is no, you may be skipping over the possibility that things aren’t as out of reach as they feel. What’s the worst that could happen if I try to find out? You’re not committing to anything by exploring your options. At worst, you confirm you’re not quite ready yet. At best, you realize you’re closer than you thought. What would I need to do to get a clear answer? This usually isn’t as complicated as it sounds. A quick look at your finances and a conversation with a lender can give you a much more accurate picture than guesswork or headlines. What if the answer is yes? That doesn’t mean you have to rush out and buy something tomorrow. It just means you have options—and you can start thinking about timing, strategy, and what makes sense for you. What if the answer is no? Even if you aren’t in a position to buy a house, at least you’ll get a feel for what you need to do to get yourself in a position to do so. Whether it’s saving a bit more, paying down debt, or improving credit, you can move forward with a plan instead of an assumption. Once you’ve worked through those questions, there’s really only one way to find out where you stand… and that’s to speak with a mortgage professional. Ideally, you’ll want someone who works with first-time buyers and is willing to walk you through things without making it feel overwhelming. They can guide you through the pre-approval process, which will give you a clear picture of whether you’re currently in a position to get a mortgage—or what you need to do to get there. A great way to find the right mortgage professional is to ask a local real estate agent for a recommendation. And while you’re at it, starting a relationship with an agent isn’t a bad idea either. Whether you’re ready now or further down the road, they can be extremely helpful in getting you from where you are today to where you want to be. The Takeaway: If you’ve been feeling like buying your first home is out of reach, you’re not alone. Between rising prices, higher rates, and constant headlines about affordability, it’s easy to assume it’s just not possible right now. But sometimes that feeling has just as much to do with perception as it does with reality. Due to something called money dysmorphia, it’s easy to underestimate where you stand financially, or assume you can’t afford something without ever really looking into it. Having a quick conversation with a mortgage professional can give you a much clearer picture. You may find you’re closer than you think… or at least know exactly what steps to take to get there.
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